Here are a few fun comebacks you can use next time someone makes about a joke about your 5head. You have your entire life to be a jerk. We all spring from apes, but you didn't spring far enough. Jill Zwarensteyn is a writer and Michigan native who covers trending topics, pop culture and astrology. Aww, dont worry, you are wantedwanted for several accounts of perjury. By this, compare your situation to theirs and make theirs look grave. Just like punchlines, pick-up lines, and jokes, when you try to explain insults like these will make it look less impactful and less relevant. wikiHow is a wiki, similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. Please, save your breath. I never even listen when you tell me them. Think of a great comeback and put it in your brain. You need a kiss on the neck from a crocodile. I'm the person you wish you were. 55. I want you to leave. All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published. Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you.Girl: Yes, but would you stay there? 61. 3. You be the door and Ill slam you. Look, dont go to a mind reader; go to a palm reader; I know youve got a palm. Looking at you, I realize what a waste of skin you are. Moonlight becomes you total darkness even more! Nobody says that you are dumb. Before you came along we were hungry. Especially when the other person is acting immature. His passion for writing brought him to the Savannah College of Art and Design, where he studied writing. Also, as the person attempts to explain, the impact and weight of the remark that is supposed to be felt emotionally will be defused. The song Army of One is an ode to your loneliness. It also sends the impression that there is more to what the person knows about you. Funny Comebacks When Someone Says U Have a Big Forehead, Vote for the best comeback when people diss your big forehead, Ever feel like you just don't know how to. 52. First, you can gently correct the person by pointing out that you do have friends- just not as many as they do. Then why are you all up in my. Discover short videos related to comebacks if someone says i have a brain on TikTok. The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes. Youre about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. Youre cute. You have your entire life to be a jerk. If you were a spice, you'd be flour. Youre a pain in the neck. Lets play house. On this note, some have made it a habit because of its relieving effect. If you act mature, they'll know that they can't upset you. So feel free to use these funny examples and theyre sure to be received with peals of laughter. Ok, youre free to go. Saying any of this to them will make you feel better and more confident as opposed to their expectation of your reaction. Youre the type of person that uses their 3. Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up? 4. 30 Best Comebacks When Someone Says You Don't Have Any Friends 1. 47. 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603. By giving this reply, it means that you are in control and intentional about the kind of people you make as friends. Someday you'll go far. 8. Enter the fray and enjoy the spirit of the confrontation instead of fearing it or downplaying it. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. my forehead may be big but not as big as the bruises you will get in a sec, My four head might be big but your face is bigger. Jesus might love you, but everyone else definitely thinks youre an idiot. For more information, please see our % of people told us that this article helped them. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye. A rejection letter from MENSA wouldnt be too much of a surprise for you now, would it? A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind. All day I thought of you I was at the zoo. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldnt have given you worse advice. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today? Are you always an idiot, or just when Im around? Are your parents siblings? As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? The next time your pea-brained friend tries to forehead shame you, it's a fact you might want to bring up. The obvious interpretation of this comeback is that the remark of the person is a toxic trait that makes you handpick the kind of person you choose to hang around with. Why not take today off? How did you get here? Good job. Now that you mention it, that kind of reminds me to empty the compost, too. 35. If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. 7. 12. Even if I did, it's better than having both a small brain AND a small dick like you. If you were an inanimate object, youd be a participation trophy. 50. 3. Guy: So, wanna go back to my place?Girl: Well, I dont know, will two people fit under a rock? Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons? You just have bad luck when youre thinking. Lasts longer in bed, too. Im surprised your teeth arent brown from all the shit talking you do. Are you at a loss for words, or did you exhaust your entire vocabulary? "No, I'm not, but don't take my word for it, ask your dad.". 84. Guy: But I dont know your name.Girl: Thats in the phone book too. Guy: Would you like to dance?Girl: Not with you.Guy: Oh, come on. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. Youre about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. If Tyra didn't have a large forehead she might not have had the career as a supermodel. Well, if this is what they ask, here are some examples of witty comebacks you can use: "You've got very short hair, are you a lesbian?". wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. Youre like the end pieces of a loaf of bread. What this will be interpreted as is that you have seen the advice from the remark they made, but that advice is to do away with them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'callforte_com-leader-1','ezslot_0',121,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-leader-1-0'); Nobody is perfect. Ah. Every cloud has a silver lining. Hey, your village called they want their idiot back. You see that door? You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Hope you have some business, well go and do that! No matter how much a snake sheds its skin, its still a snake. Please just tell me you dont plan to home-school your kids. 7. I like you just the way you are: uninspiring, uninteresting, and dreadfully unfunny. 79. Ill never forget the first time we met. I am returning your nose. If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. 10. 10. I hear that when you were a child, your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much. I hear the only place you are ever invited is outside. I hear you are being accepted into an exclusive club because they need someone to snub. I hear you are connected to the Police Department by a pair of handcuffs. I hear you changed your mind! I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. 1. 94. Thats a checkmate there. No, the 3rd one down. Though, its not always easy to think of a comeback on the spot. Yes, I'm saying your date is a blow-up doll. It takes me a lot of effort to smile when youre around. You look like something that came out of a slow cooker. Like my dog. We all know the feeling. If you have a large forehead, no doubt you have been roasted for it many times. You can either turn the other cheek around or step up to them so that they do not keep going down this road. Mind if I take yours? Guy: Hey, baby, Whats your sign?Girl: Stop. You're like the first slice of bread in the packet, everyone touches you but no one wants you. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. document.getElementById("ak_js_1").setAttribute("value",(new Date()).getTime()); Top Comebacks When Someone Calls You A Clown, What Do You Call Someone Who Doesnt Leave Their Comfort Zone, Is It Rude to Ask for a Tip (Heres What We Know! Hey, your village called they want their idiot back. You need a kiss on the neck from a crocodile. Im not insulting you, Im describing you. Yes, I'm saying you have no purpose, either. Help! Im just really grateful Im not you. ago. It may mean that they are suggesting that you be more open and receptive to people. I love what youve done with your hair. If someone insults you, dont call them a nasty name. The 0.01% of germs are afraid of contracting stupidity from you. 11. I didnt put garlic over my door because I think youre a vampire. 5. I want you on the other side of it. Maybe we can invite them over and, together, youd constitute one working brain cell. Worry about your eyebrows. The person will get confused when you give a response that indicates that you couldnt care less about what they think of you. I choose my friends, and youre not one of them. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. Here are some great responses for when someone tells you to get a life: Maybe I'll take yours. 60. Your skin is glowing, but I think its from the radiation emanating from your toxic ass personality. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. You must be from the shallow end of the gene pool. You must be the arithmetic man you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. You must have a low opinion of people if you think theyre your equals. You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning. You never strike out blindly; you fail in the light. Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being. 4. Dont worry about me. Are you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Ive never been a great cook, but I still know how to. Im pushing this conversation to my daily trash bin, 24. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. Youre the corner piece to an unsolvable puzzle: everyone looks right past you. Youre enough of an asshat as it is. Are you almost done with all of this drama? I was going to make a joke about your life, but I see life beat me to the punch. Say stuff like that and someone could take yours. Dont worry. And Im leaving early. If you need a perfect comeback, there are plenty of funny ones below! Do your parents even realize theyre living proof that two wrongs dont make a right? I found it in my business. Feel free to keep your mouth shut instead. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. For a second there, I thought you made a valid point. How about you make them realize (true or not) that you do have friends, but they are not among your friends? You are proof that evolution can go in reverse. If you love this resource, don't miss our amazing resource Verbal Self Defense Made Easy bundle that will teach you how to effortlessly shut down rude people in record time. Here are some cool examples of the same that are bound to make you break into a smile. You go to yours and Ill go to mine. Of course Im talking like an idiot how else could you understand me? We've all been there: knowing the best comebacks to say after the argument is over. Then I met you. 54. i have been getting made fun of my big forehead and it hurts a LOT a school i try to ignore it but i can't help me, please apply cold water to the burns imma use dat one, Yeah my forehead is as big as your stupidity. It just smells much better than you. We hope you enjoy this website. You need to be able to quickly gather your thoughts and say something witty in return. 2. PersonOnReddit786 9 mo. 16. Thankfully, here are 30 different things to say when someone tells you that you dont have any friends. Want more humor? And if you're reading these funny quotes and hilarious insults, you probably have, too. RELATED:27 Passive-Aggressive Quotes That Are Actually Pretty Inspiring. They might have just said that out of bitterness, hoping youd feel bad about yourself. It's totally frustrating after an argument to finally think of a great thing you could have said during the fight. Here are some good comebacks to use the next time someone insults you: Here are some good comebacks. Your only purpose in life is to become an organ donor. This article has been viewed 265,636 times. You should hear the ones I keep to myself. Check out101 Funny Quotes101 Corny Jokes101 Knock Knock Jokes101 Funny Puns. Guy: I can tell that you want me.Girl: Ohhhh. Go have a redbull 68. Additionally, he loves to write zany fiction stories and take care of his pet frog. 24. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. You can also ask the person why they think you don't have any friends. Of course, youd expect people to keep the person at arms length. (Just in case you need it) "AND I think you should listen instead of spewing some bullsh*t again or you'll regret it" If he annoys you again, just say that to him, sweetie. But if you get yourself familiar with some classic comeback statements, youd be able to flaunt confidence whenever such hurtful words are said to you. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. Justify why you truly have no friends. However, we normally feel some form of relief when we cry. Smart and witty comebacks for someone says "make me" If you ask a person to shut up, or do something, and he/she responds with "make me" in a rude way, then you'll need some smart and witty comebacks. and our "Are you gay?". Im not insulting you, Im describing you. Then what should i reply? 86. But then, whats my own humble opinion against thousands of others?I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in. You just have bad luck when youre thinking. It might even defuse the argument. Jealousy is a disease. 64. I must have been imagining things. Guy: Does beauty run in your family?Girl: It obviously doesnt in yours! 2. All mistakes are fixable, yet you arent. Somewhere out there, there's a tree working very hard to produce oxygen so that you can breathe. They say opposites attract. Guy: Im all youve got cutie pie.Girl: Then I must not have a lot. Hold still. I lose my valuable time. Id slap you but I dont want to make your face look any better. Ever feel like you just don't know how to speak up for yourself? Ever feel like you don't know what to say to challenging people? 2. Well, there is scientific evidence to prove that people with bigger heads are more intelligent. The insult to end all insults "TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE" use it and the power shall kill his small brain as you evolve into BIG BRAIN. For example, if your bosom friend is stressing about an attitude of yours that keeps people away from you, then you can use this response. You bring everyone so much joy when. That being said, allow me to redirect you to the discount section. This kid will say stuff and doesn't really know what that means. Who do you think I am? Worse, you dont want them to have the last word, So, weve compiled a list here of 100 comebacks that you might want to use the next time your friend hurts you or makes you mad. Guy: Havent we met before?Girl: Yes, Im the receptionist at the V.D. Absence makes the heart remember, apparently. If you're feeling extra ambitious and slightly willing to risk your job, there are even zingers for the notorious cranky customer. I could've sworn I was dealing with an adult. You tell me. Some people hatch into whatever the hell you are. You are like a cloud. 76. When God made you, you must have been on the bottom of his to-do list. Who ate your bowl of sunshine this morning, thundercloud? Ive seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? Are you normally this obnoxious, or is there some class you took? People who have no filter don't know how to keep their thoughts, feelings, or emotions in. Dont worry about me. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. Here are a few fun comebacks you can use next time someone makes about a joke about your 5head. Might as well take a trip to the moon while you're at it. There is even a 5head club, which Urban Dictionary defines as, "When someone's forehead is so big, that it can no longer be called a forehead. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Which means you're just as hard to remove. It reminded me to take out the trash. Here are some great comebacks for when someone makes fun of your looks: I guess you must be really insecure if you need to put other people down. 97. Here are some cool examples of the same that are bound to make you break into a smile. Your ignorance makes my racist uncle look like Albert Einstein. It looks pathetic and it shows that you're immature. Id tell you to blow your brains out, but Im pretty certain theres nothing there. I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed. 91 Short Jokes//172 Dad Jokes//91 Corny Jokes//75 Stupid Jokes//82 Dark Humor Jokes 3. A friend had been pulled over for speeding in Malibu and the cop told him "Go back to Mexico." I'm a Chumash! The only person falling for you is blind. Large and in charge isnt your excuse to be a fat asshole. Can you stop talking more often? Think of a great comeback and put it in your brain. 44. 62. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. 30 Comebacks When Someone Calls You A Cry Baby by Admin We know that when one is called a crybaby; it is because they exhibit traits relatable to babies, which includes crying often. I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Its people like you that make it so easy to be picky about who I hang around with, 23. Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain. 65. What did you want to be when you grew up? Girl: Youre so fat!Guy: Hey, I may be fat, but youll always be ugly, and I can diet! You are a pizza burn on the roof of the worlds mouth. Were committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. The list below has a comeback for practically every situation you could possibly run into from the jerk boyfriend and the fake friend to the helicopter parent and the nosy neighbor. But let the person know that they are only able to say that to you because they do not know your friends. Everyone makes mistakes. If someone should tell you that you dont have any friends, it is expected that you find the statement hurtful. You better take care of it, dear. Girl: Darling, do you think Ill lose my looks as I get older?Guy: With luck, yes. 40. Being told that you look young is usually a positive thing, and many women welcome the compliment. RELATED:30 Perfect Comebacks To Use When Someone Calls You Fat. Best Knock-Knock Jokes. Ok, show me the way! Youre the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo. Guy: I want to give myself to you.Girl: Sorry, I dont accept cheap gifts. It got a little chillier in here once I realized you were a cold-hearted bitch. There was some terrible traffic accident on the news today. I think theyre onto something. This is a lose-lose situation for me. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. I know you are nobodys fool, but maybe someone will adopt you. I refuse to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of the handicapped. I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. I may love to shop but I will never buy your bull. You dont want to match their ridiculousness. By giving this response, the person is made to believe that they have bigger problems to worry about.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'callforte_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_9',120,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Agree or not, people like validation. You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white. You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school. You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you. You are so stupid, youd trip over a cordless phone. You are so stupid that if I gave you a penny for your intelligence, Id get change back. You may be a beautiful person on the inside, too bad you were born on the outside! Youre a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. I gave out all my trophies a while ago, but heres a participation award. 82 Chuck Norris Jokes//91 Yo Mama Jokes//154 Bad Jokes//118 Bad Dad Jokes, Best Dad Jokes | Best Pick Up Lines This friend was still in his late teens at the time. You're so ugly, you couldn't even arouse suspicion. Youre lucky intelligence isnt measured in negative numbers. You can take advantage of this and make them know you dont admire having people like them around as opposed to what they may be expecting from you. I thought of you today. Child, Ive forgotten more than you ever knew. They make for some pretty good comebacks! 3. just not around you." 3. I'm sorry; I didn't realize that my appearance was supposed to meet your standards. 2. We think of you when we are lonely. Id finally get some peace and quiet. Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? z1ntent 9 mo. A wonder why no one likes me, 26. The person may attempt to explain further, giving you room to remark on their flaws. I dont make many friends, I make real friends, 27. Ylwppl 9 mo. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Bro you lookin at my dick thats hella weird. Yes, I talk like an Idiot. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Oh, Im sorry. When they said grow a pair, they didnt mean for you to have kids. 23. 71. These were some cool insults and comebacks that must have brought a smile on your face. Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. Make you should eat makeup so youre pretty on the inside. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/1\/1e\/Make-a-Clean-Comeback-Step-1-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Make-a-Clean-Comeback-Step-1-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/1e\/Make-a-Clean-Comeback-Step-1-Version-2.jpg\/aid132194-v4-728px-Make-a-Clean-Comeback-Step-1-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"